With four new babies in the family this holiday season and a $20 gift exchange cap, I’m beginning to understand the term ‘economically responsible.’ Regifting sounds terrible in principle, but so is hoarding. Being thrifty is also environmentally responsible. Just think of all of the lithium-ion batteries being strewn about the landfills. Guilt subside? Great. If nothing, who doesn’t need to clean out their closet? Below we’ve compiled a reasonable list of 5 Gadgets to Regift this Christmas. We know you own at least half of these, Scrooge.
Tablets
Useful is the term Steve Jobs and Bezos would describe these devices. Yet when tablets aren’t being used to cure Malaria in African hospitals, what are we really doing with these gifts? That $500 iPad looks really pretty under your coffee table. And I don’t think I’ve seen my Kindle Fire since the Christmas I received it two years ago. Oh, we know you wanted to read on it. But, be honest. You just ended up playing Fruit Ninja with your cats and watching Netflix while surfing Reddit on your laptop.
Does it have a soft place in my heart? Sure. But who would gain more for it, your cat, or your that brat nephew just entering college who wants to take notes and draw phallic objects in class?
MP3 Players
Wait, you still use your iPods, Zunes, and knock-off i-Music devices? You’ve gone through three smartphones in the last three years and only listen to Spotify. It’s time to move on. Your cousins are 10 and still too young to use cellular service, so why not give them a brilliant hand-me-down that will stand the test of time (or iTunes)? Wrap up your old iPod Touch collecting dust next to your old Wired Magazines. God knows you still have the pretty “Designed by Apple in California” box to go with it. Just be sure to reset and clear off the device. The addition of Always Sunny and The League might only be appreciated by one parent.
Pedometers
Dude, you quit the gym on January 31st when your New Year Resoluter membership trial expired. Give it to that thrifty friend of yours who always wanted a Nike Fuelband in the first place. The flashy digital display is pretty, and it’s definitely lacking purpose now that all those Harlem Shake steps are in the past. Sorry, 2013.
Wireless keyboards
I actually have two of these in a bin somewhere. It’s something someone is always asking for in the hopes of turning their TV into that baller media center. Little do your friends know, no one will use a wireless keyboard once they discover how laggy it is. In addition, they’ll find all they really wanted in the first place was an Apple TV or Roku 3 with a mircoSD slot…And the regift cycle continues.
Portable Harddrives
Remember when you feared the United States government, Google, Amazon, and Dropbox were all in a conspiracy together to become Skynet? And so you stashed all your important files and lewd photographs on that portable hard drive? Yeah, about time to dig that thing out from the back of your closet. Face it; you’re no Wikileaks (And certainly no Benedict Cumberbatch). Wipe the drive and send it over to your computer illiterate uncle. He needs to stash all those cat pictures you keep sending him from Imgur anyway.